and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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