Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
