singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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