i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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