i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Randomize