Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
