When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
