uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
