The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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