just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
