Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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