So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize