How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
