hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
