i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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