..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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