um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
