therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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