I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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