im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
P.S. I can't hear my feet
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
