What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
that is very illegal...i love you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
