great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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