We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
