Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
