therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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