I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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