You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
