You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
