my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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