He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
