I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
