Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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