I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
