you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to sanitize my soul.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
