I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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