you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
