I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
