jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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