Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
