I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
high people should be assigned attendants
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
