she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
do nipples grow back?
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