i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
