I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
