omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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