Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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