No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
