I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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