I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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