You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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