so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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