Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dignity is for republicans.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
