I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
