i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
honey bunches of taint.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
