maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
