is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
