Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
