Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
