Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
